Samuel P Taylor State Park

So this weekend we did our first camping trip as a whole family, partly as a warm-up for Kings Canyon (a few weeks away). It was a lot of work for just one night, but this location is beautiful (and only an hour away).

Lake Lopez Camping and Windsurfing

Peter and Liz have been doing this trip annually for a while now, and I'm happy to be a part of it again. We decided to make it a boys weekend so that Chelsea could relax at home with Avery. Zealand had a few "momma's" but filled his longing with some quality Liz time. The added benefit was getting to run around with Jacob. The wind blew fairly strong too and Dada got in a few good sessions in the warm water. Sounds like Peter and LIz and even more driven to keep this annual tradition since they saw how much fun the family aspect adds. We are in.

Z's First Kite

Bought this $7 beauty at the Berkeley Kite Festival a few weeks back. His smile tells the whole story.

Miss Avery Isabel at 2.5 months

Dear Zealand at 25 and 26 months

When I think of you at this age the word BIG comes to mind. Big emotions, big steps, big outbursts, big silliness, and daily declarations of “I am a big boy.” I am also struck at how rapidly you cycle in out and out of different emotional states. It is true what they say, kids do not hang on to their emotions. They feel what they feel with every fiber of their body and then they are finished and on to the next. Their minds do not yet chew on grievances or click into to familiar patterns that by a certain age become part of one’s chemical circuitry.

One minute you are sobbing, whining, and upset so dramatically that I fear that our entire day is shot. Thirty minutes later you are overcome with joy over something as simple as a bright orange construction cone resting in the sand. I am learning from you that there can be 10 different days all in one if you can just let go completely of each one. Maybe I can even retrain myself to not privilege or celebrate only the positive emotions and realize that there is something constructive about anger or sadness – all part of the natural spectrum.

You are becoming more and more conversational, wise, demanding, independent, humorous, curious, and affectionate all against the backdrop of adjusting to a new family member who, quite literally, sucks the attention away from you. It must be extremely challenging. You say at least fifteen times a day, “no mama feed baby Avery.” It has even reached the point where you are screaming and pulling on my leg while I attempt to feed her. She begins to fuss sensing all of the troubled energy. Not easy for any of us.

But, just when I think that this is our life for the next eighteen years, you sweetly rock her swing or reach for her hand to comfort her during a long car ride. Again, a reminder to mama that your relationship to her is full of the good, bad, and ugly as most relationships are. It is never all one thing.

Your relationships have also begun to expand further outward toward your peers. Your best friends right now are Julien and Griffen. Coincidently all three of you own blue wide brimmed sun hats, have curly blond hair, and all three of you love to “run around” as you call it. We have had lots of playdates with Julien and his father, Michael. The two of you race around like hell on wheels doubling the potential for trouble. You have also developed a sly strategy of stepping outside the whirlwind and asking Michael a dozen times in an incredulous voice, “Michael, what is Julien doing?” It is as if his two-year-old behavior of splashing in puddles or whatnot is just totally over the top to you all of a sudden.

“Griffy,” as you call him, lives a few blocks away and is six months younger than you. But, the two of you connect as if the months were not there. The two of you love to chase each other, jump on couches, and initiate silly behaviors that the other mimics until the two of you are cracking up. You are also, I am sure, bonding over the fact that you both have new baby siblings to deal with. Your moms meet once a week on the corner with our double strollers and instantly began plotting where we can get our lattes. I am sure you are both rolling your eyes and wondering why we can’t just slide down a slide and get over it all ready.

The other week we all went to the California Academy of Sciences. There happened to be a huge line in front of the playroom. Griff’s mom, Su, and I began to silently panic – we are still very new at this. You, on cue, began to cry loudly because you wanted in, NOW! After some bumbling and maneuvering we all made it to an enclosed outdoor space with grass that any normal person would look at and think, “ahh a place to get some fresh air.” No, we were thinking containment.

Griff for some reason was running around with bare feet and you pulled off both of your shoes and threw them. The two of you then began a game of pick up a shoe and throw it. This followed by shrieks of laughter and merriment. This went on and on, long enough for at least one of the babies to get a feeding. In the midst of the chaos us moms looked on with such pleasure and talked about how happy it makes us to see you boys fully absorbed in play with each other. All of these moments, I am sure, are the cornerstone for future friendships and relationships.

These months have also marked the beginning of the question era that I am sure will stretch all the way until maybe Jr High, or as soon as the phase where your parents know absolutely nothing begins. Your favorite expression right now is “what is ___doing? What is that doggy doing? What is da da doing? What is Griffy doing? What is Ami doing? What is the tree doing? And, on and on and on. I find myself tapping into some Zen wisdom with some of my responses. “Well sweetie, the tree is just being a tree” and so on. You recently have starting asking where things come from. Where do toys come from, and last night, “where does mama come from?” “Where does papa come from?” The world must seem so amazing from the perspective of a two year old. Us adults take it for granted, but really, it still is all so amazing.

You are quite the force of nature. And, I love seeing the world anew each and every day as you bump against it with such enthusiasm. It is hard to believe how small you still are, our baby, when all that is inside is so BIG. So big, in fact, that if you take the time to notice you can see the whole world bobbing around in there.

We love you “big boy.”

-Mama