Dear Zealand at 3.5 years,

Dear Zealand,

You have almost four months of preschool under your belt and we couldn't be more proud.  You are slowly but surely becoming part of a small community of three and four year olds who all have distinct personalities and who are all wonderful in their own ways.

The very first week of preschool was tough for you.  You had a tough time when I left.  We eventually worked out a routine that helps with the separation.  Chandra, one of your favorite teachers, will lift you up to the window for our "special goodbye."  We blow kisses and then I tap the window a few times.  This ritual continues to this day.

You play nicely with all of the kids and try most activities at school.   Your favorite is outside time when you can ride bikes and scooters with all of the kids, mostly other boys.  You are so adept at the bikes and scooters and have become a bit of a leader on the playground - whooshing this way and that with the greatest of ease.   A few weeks ago you mastered a two wheel bike.  We added training wheels for a week of riding.  You were pretty much riding the bike without training wheels but they gave you confidence while you mastered braking and mounting and dismounting the bike.

You love riding your "two wheel bike without training wheels."  And, you love telling people, anyone within earshot, that you can ride a "two wheel bike without training wheels."  You also like telling people that you are three and a HALF.   That "half" has grown in importance since you started preschool, spent a week with Jordy (a five and a HALF year old) in Tahoe, and started to conceptualize age and school grades.  You are very much enamored with a boy Matthew down the street who is in Kindergarten, rides a two wheel bike, and on top of all that plays very well with you considering the age gap.  The two of you ride scooters and bikes on the court for hours on end.

Although you are very willful, opinionated, and defiant for good portions of each day, you are also very loving, affectionate, funny, and kind.  Your mama continues to learn lessons in patience and parenting from you each and every day.  Fortunately you are a very lovable little guy so all of the three year old shenanigans can be forgotten by the end of the day, once you are tucked tightly in bed (ha!).

We have a special ritual at night that has been going on for some time now.  We, as you say, "talk about our day."  We start by saying, "so, first we woke up"  and then we go on to breakfast and recount every thing we did during the day.  I can't even remember when it all started but we are both pretty hooked on it.

You still love all of your Thomas the Trains.  Trains are still your main thing.  You can build the most impressive of tracks, twists and turns of all kinds with raised tracks, bridges, etc.  I can see that you have inherited your father's engineering mind.

But, you also have inherited your mother's love of reading and stories as well.   You love being read to and can often repeat verbatim entire stories.  And, you have quite a range of interests.  Train books are usually a hit but often lacking in the story department.  You love books on all subjects and with all kinds of characters.  Curious George books are a favorite, as are Little Bear stories (still a hit after all of this time!), and basically whatever we drag home from the library.

The other day just you and I went on a special outing.  We took the BART train to San Francisco and then rode the F street car up and down Market street.  The train rides were the highlight of the trip for you.  You were so captivated by the various train stops, the trains on adjacent lines, and the coming and going of different trains.   We visited a train museum,  got peppermint cocoa (coffee for me) and watched the ferries come and go behind the Ferry Building.  We visited a book store and then got lunch together.  It was so nice to spend this time with just you.  I felt like I could relax and truly enjoy you.  So often I am elsewhere with the other tasks of motherhood consuming me - cleaning up, prepping dinner, playing referee to you and Avery, and also minding Avery that the experience of just being and hanging out gets lost a bit.

I intend to do many more one on one outings with you - I think it is important for both of us.  And, riding trains and visiting San Francisco together is a perfect outing for the two of us.  San Francisco is where you were born and where you first fell in love with trains.  It is where I became a mother and where I feel most alive.  Visiting these spaces together is worth doing, again and again.

I love you with all my heart,
Mama

Dear Avery at 18 months,

Dear Avery,

Suddenly, it seemed. we turned around and there you were a full blown toddler talking, retrieving shoes, riding your "gike,"pushing trains, saying "thank you," and running up and down the driveway.  At eighteen months you could not be any cuter.  I want to eat you all up, nibble your ears, and cherish this sweet time with you.

You are pretty much up for anything and are always right there in the mix of preschool age and the five to six year old set holding your own - trying not to let on that you are just one years old.   You love your "helmet" and proudly wear it while riding your little four wheel car.  You are fast and brave in the court and then you will stop to suck your thumb or walk over with your arms in the air saying "up."

You love a good time.  No shrinking violet are you.  Action, playfulness, and silliness are your three favorite sidekicks (usually personified in the form of your brother, who you absolutely adore).  You love jumping on the couch with Zealand, being chased, tickled, hung upside down, twirled around, sliding down slides, and throwing rocks down gutters.

More and more it seems the two of you have become playmates.  You both have a high pitched squeal that you do that signals that one of you are ready for some mischief.  You run down the hallway and grab a huge handful of your pajamas from your bottom drawer.  Zealand will do the same and suddenly a lively game of throw pajamas all over the house has commenced.

Or, the two of you will go into Zealand's room and shut the door.  I soon hear laughter and then maybe quiet.  I eventually open the door and often find Zealand's mattress on the floor and the two of you sitting on his bare wood frame reading books with big grins on your faces.  I have to say I am pretty lenient if the two of you are having a fun time together.  Isn't that what having a sibling is all about?  A private world of secrets and laughter separate from the parents?

You are picking up new words by the handful and love to converse.  You love answering questions as if you understand every word.  Who knows, maybe you do!  You love to say "shure"after many questions (like I said you are usually up for anything!).  And are now becoming very, very clear about what you like and don't.  You say, "yes" and "no" very clearly now.

And, your manners, they are impeccable!  You say "thank you" all the time and have even been known to say your "welcome."  You have the best manners of anyone in the family, so far.

You love saying, "Hi ZZ" with a huge playful grin on your face.  You give hugs and kisses freely and quickly learn the names of Zealand's friends.  You can say "Cooper," "Hudson," and a new favorite, "Matthew."  You seem to really enjoy people, strangers too.  At the grocery store and out and about you will make funny faces to get people's attention and once you do you will smile and crinkle your nose.  You will also put your arms up to be held to people you have only met a few times and will easily crawl into someone else's lap if you feel like it.  There is an ease and familiarity with the world and people that you demonstrate.

Have I mentioned your laugh yet?  You have a deep throaty, sometimes silent when you are laughing really hard, laugh that is the sweetest thing.  Zealand's humor is often subtle - yours is silly, laugh out loud when mama puts a shirt over her head sort of thing.  Cheap laughs from you all of the time.  I love it!

While Zealand needs his mama most hours of the day, you have a thing for your da da, who is very attentive to your needs.  When you have a cold it is he who is brewing a special tea for you to drink or who will sleep with you out on the coach.  He will often carry you around while he works on things inside or outside.  In the morning after he has gone to work you will look at me with your big blue eyes and say, "dada?" in a soft, mournful sort of voice.

You enjoy your time with Ami and Papa, whose names you can now say.  You especially love riding their wooden rocking horse.  You go so high on it that it practically gives your Papa a heart attack every time.  You will rock and rock for long stretches of time.  And, swings.  I usually am the one pulling you out.  If you had it your way you would stay at the park swinging all day.

You like to dance.  After we decorated the Christmas tree this year we had a dance party in the living room.  You love to shake your body to the music and also you like going in circles saying "ashes, ashes.."  - your own version of ring around the rosy.

You also love to climb things - the couch, your play kitchen, stools, chairs, the bed, anything really.

At eighteen months you are impish, sweet, playful, talkative, loving, feisty, active, curious, silly, and the apple of all our eyes.  As Zealand likes to say lovingly, "You sneaky rascal."

We love you sweet girl!
-Mama