Summer Photos

Dear Zealand at 4 years,

Dear Zealand,

You have been waiting for this birthday with bated breath.  The months leading up to your birthday were full of anticipation.  Not for the gifts, although you were excited about race cars, but for the thrill of finally being four.

In the months leading up to four you really did seem to come into your own.  You fell into a nice, easy flow with preschool where my departure was barely registered - although you always have a kiss and a hug for me when I say goodbye.  You wash your hands and then head out to your playground where your friend Andrew is usually already there pushing dump trucks through the sand.  The two of you often start the day pushing trucks together.  

You have developed a strong attachment to one of your preschool friends, Hudson so when he arrives it is a big deal.  The two of you run around the playground acting like run away trains.  You have called Hudson your best friend and you have stated that you would like to marry him.  After one day of play the two of you kissed each other over and over again while giggling.  It was a funny sight to behold.

The two of you have developed a routine at pick up where you climb on top of the play structure and sing out "we won't come down."  You both think this is hilarious.

Another close preschool friend is Dashiel.  Dash loves race cars and I think he might have been the one to plant the seed of your current obsession.  We have had lots of play dates with Dash and the two of you have a great sync to your play - pushing race cars down slides, playing in puddles and making lots of dramatic car boy noises.  It is sort of a wordless dance of easy play together.  You really have a nice time.

In the mornings, for awhile now, you race out of bed (our bed - you have been sleeping in our bed for about a year now;  we put you down in your own bed and as early as 1 am you join us, or I should say me - you climb in on my side and make yourself right at home) and tear off your diaper so you can pick out your outfit for the day.  It is warm enough now where you can pretty much wear shorts and tee shirts every day.  You love shorts and teeshirts.  You wore this outfit through much of the Winter as well.  It takes a lot for you to get cold.

You love clothes and underwear.  You especially love your Star Wars teeshirt and your racetrack teeshirt.  You had been a Thomas the Train underwear guy but in the past six months with the new race car fascination your one hand me down pair of Cars underwear became The Pair.  You like to wear all of your underwear backwards so that the picture is on the front.  We bought you a pack of Cars underwear for your birthday and it was definitely a favorite gift of yours.

You also put your clothes away at the end of the day.  Such a clothes horse you are.  You also make your bed in the morning and are very proud of your new habits.

A few days before you turned four we talked about the importance of sleeping in your own bed now that you are four.  You really seemed to take it all in.  And now you are sleeping in your own bed every night.  You are so stubborn and strong willed, but I will say, when you are ready you do exactly as you should.

You have reached a steady state at the moment.  Potty training is a thing of the past.  And, you race to the toilet at your own accord and you wash your hands without prompting.  I wonder if I will someday miss the loud "Mama wipe my bottom" booming from the bathroom?

You enjoy helping out.  You like watering plants and gardening with Ami and dada.  A precious image I have in my brain is one of you and your dada mowing the lawn together.  Duane is pushing his manual lawnmower across our huge, bumpy wild lawn and you are following him pushing your small red wheelbarrow in front of you.

Bikes and scooters have receded a bit into the background.  Friends and race cars have taken center stage.  Park play dates, sandbox play, and building things.  You have always had a knack for building - you have inherited your father's talent.  You still build elaborate race car tracks and now you are into building loopy race tracks with jumps, etc.  Also, towers and various structures.

Also, in the past few months or so you have shown a curiosity for letters.  You are now asking which letters various words start with and I am starting to go over sounds as well.  You continue to love stories and your attention span is impressive.  We started Charlotte's Web and got through the first 40 pages or so.  It gave me a glimpse into the future of reading chapter books to you.

You love sweets and carbs.  Pancakes and waffles are a favorite as well as muffins, cake and ice cream.   Cake and ice cream are once in awhile treats but homemade baked good are rolled out frequently in our household.  You love to partake.

Through it all, the valleys and mountains of development, you are a love bug.  You are very attached to your mama and I am spoiled daily with "I love yous", enormous crushing bear hugs, sloppy wet kisses, cuddles, and the like.

You are an active, athletic, fun four year old boy.  And, you are also sensitive, sometimes shy, funny, sometimes difficult, and a tough negotiator.  And, you are always changing.

You are also a big brother.  Although you can sometimes abuse your power - grabbing toys from Avery and being less than generous with your toys you are also protective of your sister.  And, you find ways to play with her.  She is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her to teach you lessons of patience, love, and care with someone smaller and younger than you are.  The two of you have your own world that you have co-created.  You will play together for hours - giggling, talking things out, and occasionally crying and fighting.

We are so proud of you.  You are such a sweet, special little guy.  Always our first born, our first entry into the world of parenthood with all of the sweat, blood and tears.  And, love.  Lots of love.  You were the first to make me a mother.  I am so blessed to have you as my son.

Happy 4th birthday!

Love,
Mama

Dear Avery at 2 years old,

Dear Avery,

You are now two years old even though when asked you insist that you are in fact, "3 and a half." Zealand jumps in (within seconds) to correct you and you still insist that you are "3 and a half."  Lately you seem to fill in your age gap, and all of the indignities that that brings at this young stage, with a strong insistence that your version of truth is the correct one.  While the three of us read stories you will sometimes call a cow a horse, or a train a bus, and Zealand, again, will quickly try to set things straight and you still insist over and over again that you are in the know.   You also count, with such authority, 1, 5, 17!

You also say, "Me first" long after I have unbuckled Zealand first.  All of your defiance is intermingled with your intense and ongoing study of all things Zealand.  It is sweet and also sometimes makes me feel extra protective of you.  There is a vulnerability there in all of that adoration.  And, of course, Zealand is already responding with some indifference to your needs for his attention.

Such is the life of a younger sibling, I suppose.

Before I forget, some of your expressions these days:  "That's funny." You declare this with a funny wrinkled nose face of your own and you find many things funny throughout the day.  You also like to call things "little tiny." "Little tiny baby.."  Little tiny diaper.."  "I'll be right back" - said very seriously..

Not so long ago you learned to hop out of your crib.  I thought naps were going to be a thing of the past.  You have stopped climbing out of your crib but whether you take a nap or not is still an iffy one.  Often times you will stay in your crib for up to an hour chatting away about baby dolls, Zealand, and god knows what.  The other day I heard you say "No, ZZ that is my bike.."

You can be such a chatty and wild little thing, emotions turning on a dime and then at other times you are very soft spoken, shy and just want to be held.  Today you buried your head in my sweater while a man at the library attempted to engage you.  The many sides of Avery.

You like to be rocked at night, "rockies" and like it when we rub/scratch your arms and legs.  You will have your arm raised up for us to rub while the other one is bent toward your mouth for thumb sucking.
Sometimes that is going on while a story is being read to you.  If you pause too long, you shout out "Read."

Such a funny little girl you are.  Sweet, funny, with very wild white blond hair that you have not allowed scissors anywhere near.  You are actually growing a few dreadlocks in the back of your hair.

It is interesting, given how verbal you are, how books just aren't your thing right now.  You just don't seem to have the patience yet.   We will start a story and then you will hop off our lap to reach for a new book.  It is almost as if it is more about choosing books from the shelf and being on our lap than the actual stories.  I can't say that a story or book has really mesmerized you yet.  At the same time you can recognize a ton of pictures in your books.  Who knows!  Maybe your dada has had better luck with stories from beginning to end.

You continue to love animals, especially kitty cats.  Animals, swings, water, and your "daddy" too.  You have also taken to carrying around an old purse of mine and you fill it with various toys and walk around the house as if you are undertaking serious missions.  You also like "cards" - old gift cards, etc.. for your purse.   Wearing a hat, and mismatched shoes is also a fun pastime.

We are now at the point where fine motor activities is more of a possibility - before paints and play dough went straight to the mouth.  Today you spend a good ten minutes filling a bowl with black beans that I had laid out for you.

I think to some extent we are all still trying to figure you out.  And, of course you are always changing. There are many sides, facets, and moods at play all of the time.  But, one thing is constant, we all love you and know in our bones that our family would not be complete without this little being in it.  A few months ago I had dressed you in a cotton dress with a rather large boy tied in the back.  Zealand always notices, and rather cutely will say, "how pretty,"when you wear a dress since it is so infrequent.  On this day he said, "Oh Avery, you look just like a birthday present."

You are a gift, and you continue to be.  Everyday.  I look forward to discovering again and again all that is inside.

All my love,
Mama

May and June

Dear Avery, 

A month before your second birthday, you woke up a long-legged, fully conversational, scooter riding, defiant, saucy, willful, tricycle riding, and highly opinionated toddler.  You and Zealand are a pair of blue eyed bandits close in height, together determined to overturn pots, disrupt carefully folded piles of laundry, and dig up seedlings hoping to grow from the ground.  Overturned glasses of milk, mysterious water spills, and the such follow your zig zag wake through the house and yard.      

You will stand back surveying the scene with your thumb in your mouth resting on your other hand while your fingers brush your upper lip.   Zealand loves it when you become mischievous.  He thinks it give him permission to do whatever you are doing without consequences.   And, you of course love it when Zealand is laughing uproariously over whatever it is you are doing.   The naughtier the better, of course.

J.D. Salinger once famously said, "Mothers are all slightly insane."  I couldn't agree more.  The two of you keep me busy and yes, make me slightly insane.  Just this morning you both walked out the front door half dressed while I was in the bathroom and within minutes you were both halfway down the court giggling and running.  

I have to admit a rather funny development in our family is your adoption of many of Zealand's less than pleasant behaviors.   Did I say funny?  Yes, see above.  

You will say with a stern and serious face in a dark and dramatic tone, "Mama, Don't say that."  Or, "Mama, get that for me, NOW."  The demands lack all of the fire that came with Zealand and is just you aping your beloved brother.  We all smile.

This is not to say that you lack your own iron will.  Increasingly you have an opinion about every aspect of your day.  You want to sit up on the high stools, the "island,"you do not want to sit in your booster chair, you want your pajama top left on, etc.  Each protest is accompanied by furious howls, tears, and a wiggly body.  

At this point in your young life you are perfectly content to just muck it up with Zealand.  It isn't often that you play on your own.  There are only a few toys that you have taken sole ownership of - your baby, and now Pooh bear, "teddy bear," has become important.  I can't remember if Uncle Barclay gave this to Zealand or to you.  For all practical purposes the bear is now yours.  Zealand tried half heartily the other night to get to the bottom of who the bear really belongs to.  He is pretty sure that it is his bear.  But, he lost interest after a few minutes.  

I know you are interested in playing dolls, mothering and caring, there is just so little time and space for this sort of thing, yet.  The other day we put a diaper on Pooh bear and you were just thrilled.  Last week we went on a walk with the mother of one of Zealand's preschool friends and afterwards we stopped at their two little girl household for a visit.   

The front room had a small chair, pretend kitchen, doll bed, many dolls, and even better a live grey kitty cat who was not at all phased by a little girl's interest.  The cat was curled up in an o shape in his tiny bed.  You suddenly exploded into a dramatic show of imaginary play.  First you were making food for kitty in the kitchen, which you brought over for the kitty to "eat."  You tried to lift the kitty into a chair, and at one point you excitedly sat in a chair so that you could read to kitty.  

After it was abundantly clear that kitty was not in fact hungry and was going to remain curled up in a ball, you moved on to the dollies.  You were keen on strapping one on the dolls into their infant car seat.  I think you could have stayed for hours, but alas, time to pick up Zealand at preschool. 

Sometimes I feel like more often than not I am pulling you away from things rather than allowing you to fully explore your interests.  When we drop off Zealand at preschool I am pulling little hands away from tall paintbrushes, steering you away from gobs of fresh play dough, and then rather abruptly, it must seem, lifting you up so that we can leave.   

I have such a clear image of your face as you watch Zealand during his gymnastics class.  You insist on watching the entire thing and you will narrate, "Zealand's turn, "there is ZZ."  Your eyes are so wide and you are just hanging on every move.   You want so badly to jump in the ring. 

Your turn will come.  And when it does I am quite certain you will spin, tumble, shine, and glow with the best of them.  In the meantime, I think it time I sign you up for your own class.  You are, after all, almost two.  I love you sweet girl. 

-Mama

Maui Fun

Dear Avery at 22 months,

Dear Avery,

This month you discovered that snow, that cold white stuff, can actually be a whole lot of fun.  The last few Tahoe trips have mainly been indoor experiences for you.  Gloves just weren't your thing and then ouch, cold, get me back inside!

All of us went for a three day weekend and the first morning I bundled the two of you up in your snow outfits while your father was out on a backcountry ski expedition.  I wasn't sure if the outing to the front yard would last two minutes or an hour.  You allowed the gloves to go on, fingerless thin fleece, and out the door we went.

And, then, you played in the snow.  You grabbed handfuls of it, sat in it, and decided within minutes that this white fluffy stuff was really fun.  Zealand pulled out a plastic sled and I decided to try walking with the two of you in tow into the forrest.  With my child carrier backpack on for backup, off we went.

The sled was a cheap orange sliver of plastic with a scratchy rope at one end, but what a blast we ended up having.  Somehow, it wasn't even that difficult to pull the two of you along the bumpy, snow covered path.

We sang songs and the three of us made our way down the hillside, where the next day Zealand would shoot off like a rocket down the hill on the sled, and peacefully strode along.  I marveled at how our morning was expanding bit by bit into a winter adventure when moments earlier I wondered if our fate was to be trapped in a cabin with few toys and hours to kill before dada came home.  Suddenly here we all were.  You take one step and then another and whole new vistas open up.

At one point we stopped and you and Zealand hopped off the sled to play in the snow.  And, girl, you let loose.  You walked toward the billowy drifts and plopped face first in laughing and barely able to get up fast enough to do it again and again.  Zealand followed your lead and soon the two of you were lost in the moment of childhood thrills.

After a bit I scooped you up mid-plop and began the trek uphill.  Your snowsuit was cotton, after all, and I didn't want the last memory of snow to be tearful, cold and wet.  It wasn't.  We shrugged off our snow clothes once inside and topped off our morning with a snack of macaroni and cheese, flushed cheeks and all.

I wonder sometimes the impact of second born on your personality and also having an older brother who can do many things already.  All of your "firsts" happen in the wake of a dynamic older brother who can already ride a bike, guide a sled down a steep snowy slope, and ski a bit.

I know this will even out over time as your abilities began to equalize and two years begins to seem slight.  In the meantime, you are not without your own bit of power and panache.  Often during our weekly play dates with Zealand's friends you hang back a bit watching and sucking your thumb, asking to be held.  Once it is just the three of us again, Zealand often turns to you for direction.

You might grab a baby stroller and doll, and boom he needs to do the same, asking for his baby and stroller.  You confidently march down the hall and within minutes he is behind you doing the same.  It is a fascinating dynamic since I often observe the older child holding sway over younger ones played out over and over again.

Zealand follows you around mimicking your actions and, if you stop to ask for a ba ba, he asks for a ba ba too.   He will take off his shoes if yours are off, and the two of you go on and on trying your best to have and do as the other one is having and doing.  And on and on.  Recently the two of you have started announcing "I won."  You have appropriated this spot on and add, with great emphasis, "No, Avy won."

All this to say, you hold your own quite well and this is no simple case of one following the other.

Your language skills continue to grow.  Your enunciation and ability to speak in clear sentences is impressive, sometimes uncanny.  You ask complete questions, such as, "Mama why did you say that?"out of the blue, it seems.  And, you have a unique, sing song way of turning phrases into a rhythm, "walkin' to see the kitty" as we walk down the court to peek at our favorite cat who is often perched in our neighbor's window.   Or, you ask to "sit on the mama's lap."

You are a sweet little bug who excels at moving with the flow of our family life.  And, you have found your own ways to direct our flow so it bends and swirls around an almost two year old in ways that allow Miss Avery to shine.  A nice balance so far.

We all love you dearly.
Love,
Mama