Where There's a Will There's a Way

A strategy often cited for managing toddlers is to redirect them. The idea is that instead of disciplining (too young to understand) you are enticing them with a different activity or object. This is a great strategy in theory and I do employ it (probably more than I realize) but do not yet have much luck with it. I don't do the alternative, discipline Zealand, because he is too young to understand. I am not sure what I do instead, actually.

The truth is, Zealand is incredibly strong willed. I don't have anything to compare it to, but he really has such strong ideas about what he wants and where he wants to go. I suppose my strategy is to hover close by, make sure he is safe, and follow his lead. We are at the point where I can't even choose a book for him.

At the aquarium the other day it was time to move to the next exhibit. We were with two other little ones and a good friend so I wanted to keep the group together. Zealand wasn't ready to leave the stingrays and he let me know by shrieking and squirming in my arms. I carried him to a room full of life sized stuffed gorillas, lions, tigers and an exhibit of live, playful penguins! The perfect diversion! I put Zealand down to explore and the minute his small feet hit the ground he headed straight for the door to look at the stingrays again. This is so typical of Zealand. He has the memory of an elephant and will not rest until he is back where he wanted to be in the first place.

At the grocery store if he spots a baguette all bets are off. No other snack will do. He will squirm and holler until his hand is around that bread.

At this point I feel like I can only distract him with what he wants. I hope this isn't another ways of saying that he gets everything he wants. Maybe it is.

Until he is older though he can't really understand. And, it's just bread after all. And, I do have limits. He cannot lick his diaper bin (which he tries to do), chew on shoes (yuck!), pick up dog poop, or play in the toilet. Knives are off limits too. Anything that isn't safe or horribly unclean.

Overall, I am grateful for a strong willed child. It is more challenging right now but I am happy to see his ease in throwing his weight around in the world. I like that he has clear preferences. He's a mover and a shaker, that one.

I suppose the challenge in raising a strong willed child is to teach him shades of grey and how his actions affect others. Or, maybe he is less strong willed and more just acting his age. It is hard to say. In the meantime, I will keep chasing this dynamo known as Zealand and hopefully learn some shades of grey myself.