Dear Zealand,
This month your mama has gone back to the parenting books for wisdom and techniques for handling a willful toddler intent on testing all the boundaries within our household. I feel like my game as a mother is officially on. I remember sitting with you in a new parent support group and thinking when the facilitator asked about what it was like being a new parent that this stage was fairly easy - caregiving is a very straightforward task - feed, love, and nurture 24/7. Not easy, but clear.
Now, you are asking us to define our boundaries around behavior and even at an even deeper level you are pushing us to define what it is exactly that we feel is important to teach you as young human still so new in the world. When I first turned to the books it was for quick guidance on how to handle new behaviors that were clearly a no no - i.e. throwing things in the direction of your sister. I am now realizing as I read and think more about it that discipline is a form of ongoing education - for parent and child. Nothing new here - the idea that you discipline not to punish but to teach, but I am really starting to get it.
That much is clear enough but how you go about doing so is wide open and constantly evolving. And, you are trying to figure it out in the space of moments when you yourself are exhausted, hungry, and devoid of any remaining patience. Also, your lesson plan on how to be a stellar human is often being written right there in the moment as you search for the right words and realize with great humility that you are at times miles away from being that stellar human being yourself. After all, it was only very recently that your mama developed the habit of putting her own toys away after playing with them. And, she is still working on hanging up her clothes after a long day! So, yes, game on!
Not only have I turned to the books, but I have also become much more conscious of creating a stimulating environment for you at home while Baby Wavy naps in the morning. Up until the past few months you have been so focused on developing your motor skills, anything left over went toward trains, trucks, and cars that we haven't done much with art or other forms of creative play. You do like a good session in your play kitchen, and you love reading.. but mostly at home you are on the rug building elaborate train tracks.
Art is still not quite catching with you. You will make a few stabs with the paintbrush and then you are done. I won't push it but still believe in the notion of introducing and planting seeds. You are always changing and one day art might be the new favorite. Your imagination has rolled off the track of the literal, though. And, away from tracks and wheels (at least momentarily throughout the day).
Plastic animals and wooden people have added a new dimension to our play. You like to put all of the animals in your dumptruck and give them a ride around the farm. You have also started to do pretend voices for the animals. I made you a felt play mat with a house, moon, road, trees, and pond and we have enjoyed delivering packages to the house and such. I love that your imagination is starting to really take off!
You also love to have tea parties with your tea set. Mint tea is your favorite. We will sit down together with our tea and crackers and carry on like two old friends.
Your language continues to grow that it is to the point that I can't easily recall all of your phrases and leaps - it is now just you. The novelty of new words is starting to wear off as words pile up and become everyday. I think what I am trying to say is that you are more and more a little boy whose essence and character is with us everyday in subtle and remarkable ways. But, the baby who is knocking off developmental milestones in dramatic fashion (crawling, walking, and talking) is no longer. It is far easier to recall first words spoken than it is the subtle way you now say things and all of the bits and fragments of conversations that line our days.
Maybe this is what other parents mean by children growing up overnight, time just slipping through your fingers. Before you know it you will be graduating high school and we will surely shake our heads like all of the other parents, where did the time go? It is daunting to already think about how much is already left out of these letters and how much I can't easily recall. Well, I will shoulder on throwing words at this small bit of life we are allowed. Small impressions in the vast expanse that is becoming you and our life. Knowing all too well how quickly it goes, is going.
We love you Zealand,
Mama
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